Sociological Experiment
by blacksand1
Summary: Sniper Wolf gets a silly idea. Oneshot, mild Liquid/Wolf, rated T for repeated references to lady parts.


_I own nothing, this is just for fun. Enjoy yourselves~!_

At three AM that morning, Sniper Wolf was staring at herself in the mirror with a contemplative look. She wasn't doing any deep soul-searching, of course not; that was for hippies. No, the sharpshooter was just analyzing her appearance. She did this from time to time, just like any other woman. Her eyes traveled from her very not-Kurdish hair and eyes to the large strip of flesh that separated her jacket in two, and she let out a chuckle; her conservative Muslim mother would have a fit if she saw her daughter's cleavage-exposing outfit now.

… _Just how long _have_ I been dressing like this?_ Wolf wondered, face contemplative as she cocked her head to the side in thought. Well, _obviously _it had been long enough for the genophobic Psycho Mantis to stop freaking out when he saw her cleavage and for Liquid Snake to have stopped staring at her breasts at any possible opportunity, so it had to have been quite a while.

Right then, Wolf got a very silly idea; _What would happen if I stopped dressing like this? _Without thinking it through, Wolf immediately started rifling through her closet for something as conservative as possible. Eventually, she found some extra bedsheets that just happened to be black, and in no time she had fashioned them into a burkha of sorts. By the time the sun was rising, Wolf was covered from head to toe in black fabric. All that showed were her eyes and her bangs, since she couldn't quite tame those to go behind the veil. Now fully decked out in conservative muslim garb, Wolf left her room and set out to perform her little experiment.

Wolf had memorized every FOXHOUND member's morning routine, and knew where they'd all be at this hour; given this, she decided it was best to start with Mantis since his location was closest. He was out in what basically constituted for a living room in the base; it had a couch, it had a TV, it had a coffee table, and those three criteria qualified it enough to make it their living room. Mantis was on the couch, a cup of coffee nearby, when Wolf walked into the room.

"Good morning," she said casually, walking deliberately past the couch _just _so Mantis would notice her.

"Mor-" Mantis cut himself off when he noticed how Wolf was dressed.

"… What are you _wearing_?" Mantis asked, leaning forward and making some expression that his gas mask made impossible to define.

Wolf feigned innocence; "Oh, this? I just decided that it was time for a change in style, and that maybe since I'm a muslim, I might as well dress like one. What do you think?"

"What do I THINK?" Mantis echoed before he exclaimed _cheerfully_, "I think it's amazing! You've FINALLY decided to stop showing off your disturbing mammaries, it's a miracle! I never thought I'd say this, but I _love _muslims!"

Wolf's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates; "Uh…"

"Come here, let me hug you!" Wolf immediately raced out of the room in a panic, and Mantis shrugged; her loss.

The Kurdish sniper slammed the door to the living room behind her and stopped to catch her breath; she didn't think she'd get THAT reaction… This was turning out to be a dangerous experiment indeed.

"What's with the burkha?" Wolf turned, blinking a few times in surprise; Revolver Ocelot was standing about a yard away, spinning his revolver lazily and regarding her with a raised eyebrow.

Wolf regained her composure and replied, "Oh, I just felt like wearing this today. Why, do you have a problem with it?"

"I'm just wondering how productive it'd be for you to wear that in the field," Ocelot replied. Wolf blinked a few times, then let out a small laugh and brushed her bangs out of her eyes (only for them to fall back over them five seconds later).

"I never really thought of that," Wolf remarked, "Well, I only planned on doing it today, and we're going through a dry spell, so…" Ocelot had walked away from her mid-sentence. Wolf frowned and put her hands on her hips with a huff. Why did he ALWAYS do that? Well, she supposed this counted as Ocelot's reaction, but she hadn't expected something so… underwhelming from him. Well, should she have expected anything less? The two of them barely interacted normally, so he really shouldn't have any reason to CARE… Oh well.

Strangely enough, both Decoy Octopus AND Vulcan Raven were gone that day. Octopus had been sent on a solo mission, she knew this much, but apparently one of Raven's many crow 'pets' (he'd KILL her for calling them pets, but she couldn't help it) had died and he had retreated to the forest to properly hold a vigil over its corpse. Apparently the funeral was scheduled for tonight and everyone was invited; Wolf went back to her room and set aside her only black dress for the occasion.

With both Raven and Octopus 'crossed off' the list, the only person who remained for her experiment was Liquid, and she ran into him completely by accident. She had just happened to pass Liquid right as he was coming out of his room and stretching himself awake- he _was _FOXHOUND's habitually late riser, after all.

Wolf innocently waved and said, "Good morning, Liquid." Liquid nodded and was about to reply, but then his eyes widened; Wolf's outfit had _just _registered in his mind, and now he was staring at her with an expression of abject _horror_. Wolf blinked a few times; _wow_, was he _really _this surprised?

After a few minutes of awkward staring, Liquid weakly pointed at Wolf and choked out, "Y-you… You're…"

"Wearing a burkha? Yes, I am," Wolf replied calmly.

"_Why_? Why would you hide yourself away like this?" Liquid exclaimed overdramatically, grabbing Wolf by the front of the burkha and shaking her back and forth, all the while staring at her with eyes that made him look possessed. Wolf's eyes widened as well in shock before she pushed Liquid off of her.

"Jeez, Liquid! Calm down, I can dress how I want!" Wolf snapped, immediately beginning down the hall before something gripped her ankle. She smacked herself on the forehead before turning around slowly, her eyebrows twitching in frustration. Liquid's knees had somehow spontaneously given out just as she began to leave, since now he was sprawled out on the ground like a two-toed sloth and weakly gripping her ankle. Also, he was looking up at her with eyes so sad they could put a kicked puppy to shame.

"Please please _please _start showing off your cleavage again, I can't handle not seeing your breasts on a daily basis," Liquid whimpered pathetically. Wolf couldn't help but laugh at that statement, and she decided to take off her hood so she could smile down at Liquid.

"If I knew your reaction would be so… _severe_, I wouldn't have conducted this little social experiment," she remarked.

Liquid immediately glared up at her and snapped, "Experiment? That's a rather cruel experiment, Wolf!"

"It was not _cruel_, Liquid," Wolf scoffed, crouching down to poke him on the forehead for his overdramatic troubles. "_You _are just weird." Despite this, Wolf stood back up to her full height and immediately discarded the makeshift burkha, revealing her normal uniform beneath. Quick as a flash, Liquid leapt to his feet and buried his face gleefully in Wolf's ample bosom. Wolf _almost _pushed him away, but… In a way, it was almost cute. She resisted her urge and just patted Liquid on the head gingerly.

"My boobs are your crack, aren't they," she deadpanned with a sigh and a wry smirk. Liquid just nodded and let out a contented sigh.

Later that night, everyone attended the funeral of Raven's crow. Raven gave a passionate eulogy, Mantis played Amazing Grace on the bagpipes, and everyone shed a tear for the deceased bird.


End file.
